What Happens Next

And we all grew up. 

We recognize things have changed, and each of us developed through differing trials. My personal adversary attacked through the form of depression, a fog I stumbled through during my collegiate years, a blanket that persisted after. 

This brings me to the question: what happens next? What happens after we grow up? 

After the recent death of my grandmother, a figure who’d quietly encouraged my writing for years while reviewing hundreds of books herself, I recognized that I’d been too embarrassed to share my writing with herself and those around me. Depression largely shaped my stories and the elements therein; the resulting content became darker, of a different genre then I knew she’d enjoy. 

However, after the passing of someone so crucial to my passion, I realized that it’s past time to admit the craft I’ve pursued all along. Therefore, I write this pivot statement, this declaration of purpose to take my art from a vague, encompassing focus to a honed, powerful, significant subgenre. 

I write dark fantasy with a hopeful twist. 

I recognize embarrassment as the reason I resisted my inner voice for so long. My grandmother wouldn’t have liked the stories I wrote, but then, this isn’t the world she grew up in. Now, authority figures lie, “truth” is debated, and our identities are fought over. We’ve all lost something along the way…but the darkness doesn’t have to suffocate us.

In some of my original work, I wrote a character who suffered from depression, a teenage girl. My story became her own; we strove through depression together, and I literally cried alongside her through all three drafts of the story. In the end, her story cemented my writing voice, focused my stories, and carried me to present day. Alongside her, I realized it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok when night settles and light retreats, because the shadows afflict everyone. We all experience the growing pains, the aching for years lost and the groaning for better tomorrows. We all approach the future, some timidly, others fervently, but all of us possessing the awareness that no season is guaranteed. Reality has changed, and this isn’t our childhood fable anymore. 

But hope isn’t lost. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it. Dead, silent forests still rest under beautiful, pure snow. Murky, storm-tossed afternoons still lighten with brilliant, flaring clouds and colorful, arching rainbows. The betrayal of a friend reveals the companionship of another, the passing of a loved one avails our gratitude for those who remain. Throughout history, hope and love have defined our humanity, encouraging us to press through this nostalgic age, this painful beauty, remembering what we’ve lost as we cherish what we’ve found. 

For this reason, I write dark fantasy with a hopeful twist, maintaining life’s magic alongside its grit. I strive for enough authenticity to point us toward the blessing we all enjoy: this wonderful gift of life, glowing amid darkness. 

Someday, you’ll meet the teenage girl through one of my stories. Presently, there’s a trilogy to finish.